I’m about to do something taboo among men… share my freak’n feelings. I’ve had some interesting experiences in dealing with self image throughout my ongoing body transformation and I feel that we can all benefit from an open discussion on this topic.
It’s a mixed bag of emotions from feeling fat with a lack of confidence, to feeling sexy and on top of the world, to feeling small (not big or muscular enough), to worrying about feeling fat again while gaining muscle. All of that and so much more…
In The Beginning
It’s true… I’m not some genetic freak.
Although I once was a “skinny little maggot” as Jason Ferruggia so eloquently puts it ๐ weighing in at a whopping 123lbs in my early 20’s…
…I proved that I could gain fat just as quick as everyone else when I ballooned up to 190 during my late 20’s all thanks to a high stress lifestyle and a bout of depression.
During this time I felt like a fraud, considering I was a personal fitness trainer who was in worst shape than most of my clients. I struggled to hold my breath while tying my shoe/skate laces, I couldn’t stand to look at my side profile in the mirror, and worst of all I felt unattractive to my wife.
Thankfully, I turned things around and found a solution that worked for me and my lifestyle during this busy time in my life as an entrepreneur and father of two young children.
It felt great to be lean again. I looked good, but I still lacked confidence with my physique. I had some abs, but when I sat down a roll of stomach fat would bulge over my pants.
This made me feel quite uncomfortable. I was still hiding behind my t-shirts and felt like I wasn’t living life to my fullest. I didn’t feel “free”.
The inspiration to take things to the next level and transform my body two years ago came in a single moment while I was looking at myself in the mirror. I saw an average physique staring back at me.
Now that’s all fine and dandy for some people, but I hold higher standards for myself. There’s something about about Self Image: It’s Personal